How I met your mother ( naruto version)
by Silverlight10243
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki, full-fledged father and Sixth Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves tells his children how he fell in love with their mother... Who is she...? CRACKFIC/ partly AU
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Hi all so this is my second story , I did this for fun__ Please read and review, it will be very much appreciated._

_Disclaimer :I'll only do this once. None of the Naruto characters, or places, belong to be. Some OCs however, do._

**Prologue**

"OTOU-SAN NOT RAMEN AGAIN!" a 12 year old Kiyomi Uzumaki yelled in frustration, her father is none other that Konoha's number one unpredictable knucklehead ninja: Naruto Uzumaki.

Kiyomi was a red-head with shoulder length hair, usually gathered into a messy ponytail and many claimed her resemblance to her grandmother, Kushina Uzumaki—both personality-wise and looks. Being the daughter of the Sixth Hokage she acted especially cocky, after all she was always… well… second best in her academy; first place belongs to some Uchiha jerk that came up with the most irritating nicknames for her like "princess tomato-head" or "psychotic read-headed gorilla" (she had no idea where that came from !).

Most of the time, boys fawned over her, she shuddered at the thought of it, she doubted that any of them were actually genuinely attracted to her, it was that vexing title of ' the Daughter of our Hokage' that did the job.

Being the Daughter of Konoha's number one ramen fan, you should think she shared his same interests. Hell no. She detested ramen the day she was born. Which is why on her parent's 25th wedding anniversary she vehemently rejected her poor, poor, daddy's attempt at trying to get everyone gathered at Ichiraku Ramen.

"Come one Kiyomi… Its me and your mothers…"

"I don't care, I hate ramen."

"NANI? How are you ever a daughter of mine!"

"I don't know." She deadpanned.

Her elder brother, Tanaka Uzumaki, 17 years old, strolled in. Unlike his younger sister, she bore more of a similitude to his dad and grandfather. Slightly messy blond hair just barely hovering above his bright blue eyes and a cheery wide smile that might as well have been permanently carved on his face, he almost about to be promoted jonin and Kiyomi was extremely jealous of that, she hadn't even graduated from the academy yet! Well, as Naruto would always say to her, look on the bright side, great, 5…6 more months to go?

"Come one imoutou, let otou-san have it his way!" Tanaka…oh Tanaka… he just had to be so complying.

"Did anyone just suggest ramen? Hell yeah what are you guys waiting for?!"

Naruto's eldest son Nawaki simply adored ramen, like father like son. He had inherited, what people would call, Naruto's personality, however his hair was light brown and so were his eyes. Nawaki Uzumaki was now 21 years old, a prodigy despite his mischievous demeanor and a soon-to-be jonin sensei.

"NO RAMEN!" Kiyomi screeched.

"3 vs. 1, you are ruled out," Naruto beamed.

"Fine," she skulked, "but we're not going to Ichiraku's, a home delivery would be fine."

"Deal?" Naruto couldn't believe it, his daughter, one of Konoha's most fervent Ramen haters had agreed .

"Mmmm… on one condition…. You tell us how in-the-name-of-Kami that someone like you get together with someone like Okaa-san…"

"All right!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1:**

"_Hehe… so you all want to know how me and your Okaa-san got together?" Naruto sighed, his children could be persistent as hell when they wanted something…_

"_Well… It all started on the day I graduated from the academy, me being my usual awesome self…" _

_He was abruptly interrupted by Kiyomi: "Um didn't you graduate last-place?-"_

"_Man, have some respect for your dad, so anyways…"_

Uzumaki Naruto had narrowly been admitted a place in the graduates, he strolled through the desks, contemplating where to sit, and today was ideal, seemingly perfect. Yes starting from today, he would finally be acknowledged as a shinobi of Konoha.

Then there was Sasuke.

God he hated that cocky bastard, there was always this smug, arrogant look etched on his face and he just HAD to be rookie of the year.

"_Nani otou-san, what does Sasuke have to do with this?" Tanaka asked._

"_Ehh well… I figured you guys needed some background information," Naruto assured them._

"_Well, this kind of proves my theory that all Uchihas are annoying," Kiyomi stated matter-of-factly._

"_THAT'S MY GIRL!" Naruto beamed._

"_Oh shut up Kiyomi, we all know that Itachi has a thing for you so stop complaining," Nawaki teased._

_Oh god… He regretted his words the moment they came out, there his dauntingly deranged little was, glaring at him, her hair flaming up in all directions._

"_Say that again?"_

_He gulped, "nothing…"_

"_Kids, kids, lets get on with the story shall we?"_

So Naruto, well, being Naruto, decided to piss him off by taking a seat next to that brooding-emo raven.

"I'm first!"

"No! I am forehead!"

" Oh shut up piggy, my feet were a tenth of a millimeter ahead of yours!"

Two loudmouthed, exuberant girls rushed into the classroom, ignoring the looks of surprise and disdain casted by their fellow students. No. None of them mattered, no one other than their Sasuke-kun did.

One was them had a long, slick, blond ponytail with a section of her bangs protruding from her head, the other had pale pink hair around shoulder length. Both of their eyes glittered triumphantly, each convinced of their own victory.

"I get to sit next to him I came here first, suck that forehead!" Without warning, the self-proclaimed 'winner' rushed to sit next to the boy of her dreams. "Sasuke-kun, mind if I sit with you?"

"Hn."

"Sakura-chan!" Our favourite, flawless, breathtaking, awe-inspiring-

"_Otou-san get to the point! Most likely you got rejected, beaten up to a pulp and-"_

"_Kiyomi!"_

"_I was right though, wasn't I?" She chuckled._

"_More or less… well technically…"_

He, Naruto Uzumaki, got up, in front of the Uchiha, and raucously exclaimed:" what's so good about him anyways, Sasuke this, Sasuke that, Sasuke, Sasuke, always Sasuke…"

"Get away from him Naruto!"

"Yeah! Loser, give him more personal space!"

Both girls indignantly attempted to hurl him away; only to have their efforts backfired.

Moments away, the entire class stared in befuddlement and disturbance as the lips of their rookie of the year and dead last's met. They didn't know whether to burst out in laughter or stay silent, pondering about the wonders of having lost your first kiss to someone the same gender as you.

"_WHAT? Otou-san I'm really disappointed in you, I thought that you were always straight!" Nawaki exclaimed in utter shock._

"_Wait so were you gay—no bisexual? I'm confused?" Kiyomi stated._

"_HAHA so you and Sasuke had a thing?" Nawaki couldn't control his laughter anymore._

"_NO! KIDS! NANI? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, YOU HEAR, ACCIDENT!"_

"_Yea, whatever…" Kiyomi rolled her eyes._

"_When does Okaa-san fit in?" Tanaka inquired._

"_Well… she…"_

"_Was preoccupied by your sexual stance and—"_

"_NO! Never mind, she comes in later…"_

_Naruto sighed, he contemplated on what to tell them next and decided to omit his incident of kissing Sasuke the second time to… avoid anymore unnecessary confusion._

"_Well, all of you guys know pretty much part of what happened at that day, the team introductions, our hopelessly unpunctual sensei… yeah… SO, the next phase: the Chuunin Exams."_

"_Will Okaa-san be in there…"_

"_Eh… Heheheh… maybe…"_

**A/N: Well here's the first chapter, love it? Hate it? Suggestions? Opinions? **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

_"Otou-san, no just no, we don't need to hear about your heroic achievements for the 500__th__ time, please…" Kiyomi sighed._

_ "Aww Kiyomi, don't be so harsh on dad, he can bask in the glories of saving the world as much as he like," Tanaka shook his head._

_ "Are you guys mocking me?!" Naruto said, horrified._

_ "Just don't tell us about the Chuunin Exams, I've heard about it for over 1000 times, we don't need to know you you defeated Kiba-oji and Neji Hyuuga to know about mum" Kiyomi stated, then she added, "is Kaa-san even relevant?"_

_ "Eh… slightly…"Naruto unwillingly admitted. "All right my children, I'll tell you the part I've ALWAYS decided to neglect, the annual Dance of the Chuunins… ehh… it's actually the dance of the genin but still. Basically, at the time of the Sandaime Hokage, it was tradition for all genin's to attend the dance before the exams, because, you guys know, there is a high chance you won't survive the exams—it's supposed to be a kind of celebration."_

_ "FOR OUR DEATHS?" Tanaka interrupted, " or is it more like, you only live one so do whatever you want?"_

_ "Um…"_

_ "Who did you ask out," Kiyomi's eyes lit up._

_ "Eh…_

_ "It better be Kaa-san…"_

_ "Guys, chill, you're all giving dad a hard time," Nawaki decided to butt in._

_ "Alright! On to the story…"_

Naruto Uzumaki couldn't help but steal glances at his female team mate, Sakura Haruno, who was peeking surreptitiously at her other team mate Sasuke Uchiha, who was still in his usual brooding position.

"Sakura-chan," he mustered all the courage he had, "GO OUT TO THE DANCE WITH ME!"

"CHA! NO WAY! I'M GOING WITH SASUKE-KUN!" She smacked him on the head.

"Hn… annoying."

Sakura looked a little hurt and downcast.

"But Sasuke-kun…"

"HA! Teme, she's going out with me! Sucks to be you!"

"NO WAY!" Another smack.

"Teme, you said something about reviving your clan right? At this rate, you'll end up forever alone, but no, don't take Sakura-chan from me."

"Hn."

_"Dad, you're so desperate, girls don't like that," Kiyomi exclaimed._

_ "Hey, chillax, I was only 12," Naruto defended himself._

_ "Kiyomi… you are just so mean to Otou-san," Tanaka sighed._

_ "It's called being critical!"_

_ "Did you get her?" Tanaka inquired himself._

Three days had past and Sasuke was still refusing vehemently, all forms of invitations from his enthusiastic, fanatical, fangirls.

Sakura Haruno finally resigned, similar to the rest of them.

Naruto, however was still intent on asking her out until, just to allow his vexing attempts to subside, she finally gave in.

"Fine… at least I get a date, unlike Ino-pig… But here are the rules, read through them carefully, and DON'T break them, understood?" glared at him.

Elated, he took the paper from her.

It read:

1) Do not kiss me

2) Do not hug me

3) Do not make people believe we actually have something going on

4) Do not hold hands with me if unnecessary

5) Sasuke-kun is, and will always be my one true love.

_"Pshh, she's delusional, Otou-san was a pretty awesome guy!" Tanaka sighed._

_ "Thanks a hell lot! Unlike Kiyomi," Naruto shook his head._

_ "WHAT?" She exclaimed. "Tanaka is just lying to earn your affection and as a result piss me off!"_

_ "Ah, I've raised such unsupportive kids," he fake-cried, earning rather annoyed glances from Tanaka and Kiyomi._

_ "Stop it Otou-san, no just no… that's the lamest attempt I've ever seen."_


End file.
